Working at an agency that supports foster families provides for many rewarding and gratifying experiences, especially when caring individuals within the community seek ways to help children and youth living in out-of-home placements. For those unable to bring a child into their home, making a donation can be a common and fulfilling practice, especially for items such as new and used bags.
Unfortunately, this type of donation may come with an unintended stigma: instability.
In recent years, the popularity of donating used luggage and duffle bags has risen among individuals wanting to help children and youth in out-of-home placements. It became a much-needed way to combat the use of trash bags to carry a youth’s belongings when transitioning between homes and other treatment facilities.
Unfortunately, it also became an easy way for individuals to discard used and damaged suitcases. These gestures are often well-intentioned, and very much appreciated; however, it is easy to overlook how it can make a youth feel during an already difficult experience.
Bags and suitcases symbolize “moving,” as well as the fears and other emotions surrounding the uncertainty of a youth’s situation. Some of the trauma and anxieties associated with moving can be connected to grief and loss, uncertainty, failing, and rejection. It is not always what an item is, but what its association is to a youth’s recollection of various traumas in regard to their specific moves and experiences.
Additionally, when a youth frequently receives used and discarded items, they may develop feelings of embarrassment and lack of worth. As caretakers and supporters, it is important to build a youth’s self-esteem and be aware of their physical and emotional needs.
When children and youth enter foster care, the goal is to provide a safe, nurturing, and healing environment with as much normalcy as possible so they can grow and heal while working towards their goals. To create and support normalcy, KidsPeace encourages all resource families to engage in family and community activities as much as possible.
One specific activity resource families often engage in is shopping with their youth, allowing them to choose the foods they enjoy, personal care products they use, and clothing that fits their style and self-expression. This is something families do with their own children regularly without motives; however, as a resource family, both the immediate and long-term benefits of this are unparalleled when it comes to family bonding and individuality. It also offers an opportunity to create boundaries and educate on budgeting and spending limits for older youth.
A great way to support resource families with this activity is by donating gift cards for them to use at stores. This helps to reduce the impact on a family’s stipend so that it can be used for additional resources for the youth. Donating tickets to zoos, museums, and sporting events is another great way to promote normalcy along with family and community involvement.
Donating common products for universal needs, such as toothpaste, soap, body wash, and even first aid kits provide both youth and families with items that will be utilized by everyone. Sometimes, these donations are received inside a duffle bag in the form of a “welcome kit,” but are just as beneficial (and without stigma) when received without a motive.
KidsPeace works diligently to provide funding and other reimbursements for activities, clothing, and other needs to further reduce the financial burdens on resource families. This funding is in addition to their regular stipends for other needs associated with caring for a youth. Local foster care “closets” also offer families assistance with clothing and other household items at no expense, including during emergencies and unplanned placements.
The KidsPeace Foster Care program has achieved significant and measurable success through this ideology and by utilizing appropriate community supports. One of the goals of foster care is for kids of any age to no longer need to move again, or for it to be their last when exiting the program. Since 2023, over 600 children and youth have achieved permanency through either reunification, adoption, or other forms of planned permanency upon successfully exiting KidsPeace Foster Care.
Another way to say this is that KidsPeace strives for a world in which bags are no longer needed.
Nevertheless, it is understandable and realistic that donations of bags are still needed at times, especially when discharging from a hospital or residential setting. When donating bags, or any items, it is recommended to keep the needs of the kids in mind. Here are some tips and suggestions:
- Contact the foster care agency prior to donating to check on specific needs; sometimes another program may have an immediate need which the provider can help coordinate.
- As each child and youth is unique, so are their individual experiences – check with the foster care provider to see how best to support the kids and their resource families in achieving their goals.
- Support a child’s self-worth and independence by donating new items, gift cards, and other financial support (your donation may be eligible as a charitable deduction on your taxes as well).
These kids rely on the support of their community, as do their resource families, and will continue to rely on caring individuals as they work towards their permanency goals.
A.J. Cordi, MSW is the Program Manager of KidsPeace FCCP in Bethlehem, PA. He has been working with children and youth of all ages experiencing out-of-home placement since 2011, and joined KidsPeace FCCP in 2023. A.J. holds a master’s degree in social work from Marywood University with a specialization in behavioral health.
