Despite growing awareness and improved public conversations surrounding mental and behavioral health, many individuals and families still may not know how to discuss these issues. As mental and behavioral health symptoms become apparent, individuals and families may feel uncertainty, fear, and discomfort, and when it comes to having conversations about these concerns, many people worry about saying or doing “the wrong thing” that will make matters worse. Similarly, those experiencing mental and behavioral health challenges may feel misunderstood, judged, or dismissed by those who care about them. As a result, honest communication may become difficult at precisely the time when understanding and empathy are needed most.
Talking about mental health is fundamentally different than discussing physical health. Mental and behavioral health conditions often involve invisible symptoms, emotional vulnerability, and personal history, and for many the decision to open up requires immense courage. Supportive communication can encourage healing and connection, while insensitive comments (even unintentional ones) can shut down conversations, reinforce shame, and worsen feelings of isolation.
Learning what to say and what to avoid saying can make a profound difference in helping your loved ones feel safe, respected, and heard.
Understanding the Weight of Stigma
Although societal attitudes have improved, stigma still influences how people talk about mental and behavioral health. Whether subtle or overt, labels and stereotypes link mental illness to weakness or instability; this shapes how individuals perceive themselves and how others respond to them.
It is important to consider your personal thoughts and feelings related to mental health. Self-awareness of personal biases is helpful and will enable you to navigate these conversations in a productive manner. Remember, those experiencing mental and behavioral health challenges may already be feeling vulnerable, confused, or scared. When stigma is present or perceived, it creates additional barriers that may cause those in need of help to withdraw and avoid conversations or hesitate to seek treatment or help from others for fear of judgment or negative consequences. Fortunately, there are ways to combat stigma and break down barriers that interfere with connection and healing.
Unique Considerations for Children and Adolescents
Children and adolescents experience, express, and understand mental and behavioral health challenges differently than adults. Younger children may express emotional distress through behavior, regression, or play rather than words. Adolescents may avoid direct conversations and discussing their feelings. They may also express their emotional distress through changes in behavior (such as being withdrawn, isolative, irritable or apathetic), or through increased risk-taking. Adults supporting youth must use developmentally appropriate language, patience, and reassurance to create a safe environment for sharing.
What to Say: Supportive Language That Helps
Effective communication begins with empathy. It is important to note that being present, actively listening, and showing genuine interest and concern in what the youth is saying are equally important. Making eye contact and sitting with the child or teen at their level is also recommended. Supportive phrases validate the young person’s feelings and create a safe space for honest dialogue.
Validation is a powerful communication tool. Acknowledging the child or adolescent’s feelings and naming them without judgment helps them feel heard and understood. It is a key element to building trust and confidence. Validating feelings without condoning behavior requires acknowledgment of the emotional experience while still setting limits on behavior. Understanding this difference will help you to maintain boundaries while being empathetic. Statements such as “Thank you for telling me,” “I want to support you,” and “I’m here for you” reassure children and adolescents they are not alone. Asking “How can I support you right now?” combines empathy with practical support. Using these and similar phrases helps to normalize treatment, reinforces the concept that seeking help is a sign of courage, and encourages openness.
For Adults Speaking to Children:
“It’s okay to feel sad or confused. I’m glad you told me.”
“Your feelings are important, and I’m here to help you.”
“Let’s figure this out together.”
For Adults Speaking to Teens:
“Would it be okay if we talked about what’s been going on?”
“What you’re feeling makes sense. I’m here to listen, not to judge.”
“Talking about this doesn’t get you in trouble. I want to support you.”
“You’re not alone, and getting help is a strong and healthy choice.”
What NOT to Say: Phrases That Cause Harm
Even well-intentioned comments can cause harm when they minimize or dismiss the person’s experience. It is important to refrain from defending or justifying the behavior of others or quickly providing solutions. These responses tend to minimize and invalidate the child or teen’s experience.
Phrases like, “Everyone feels that way sometimes” or “Just think positive” overlook the seriousness of mental health symptoms, imply the person should simply overcome their feelings through willpower, and deter further discussion. Keep in mind comments that make comparisons (“Other people have it worse,” or “This is not that bad, your friend got over something terrible”) also invalidate personal feelings and suffering. Language that labels or stereotypes, such as calling someone “crazy” or “insane” is harmful and contributes to stigma. Remember being present, actively listening, and showing your genuine concern demonstrate support even if you are not sure which words to use in the moment.
Avoid saying to younger children phrases like:
“You’re fine” or “You’re just being dramatic.”
“Big kids don’t cry.”
“Stop acting out.”
Avoid saying to teens phrases like:
“It’s just hormones.”
“You’re overreacting, everything seems like a big deal at your age.”
“If you don’t stop acting like this, you’ll ruin your future.”
Approaching Difficult Conversations with Sensitivity
Supporting someone through mental and behavioral health challenges requires sensitivity, patience, and willingness to listen without judgment.
For children, adults may need to use play, drawing, or stories to help them express emotions. For teens, respecting their need for autonomy and privacy is essential, and asking permission before exploring sensitive topics helps build trust.
For all interactions, keep in mind that active listening (which includes maintaining eye contact, withholding interruptions, and being fully present) helps those we love to feel understood. Recognizing nonverbal cues, such as behavioral changes, withdrawal, irritability, school avoidance, or increased risk-taking are critically important for youth who may struggle to articulate emotional distress.
Encouraging professional help should be done gently. It is important to use developmentally appropriate language and involve children and adolescents in the process. Explaining the reasons why seeking help is important, addressing fears and uncertainty, and modeling vulnerability, along with seeking parental or caregiver support are recommended.
The Broader Impact of Compassionate Communication
Supportive, stigma-free communication helps individuals feel safe, validated, and empowered. Conversations rooted in empathy become acts of hope, help, and healing, by creating a foundation for deeper connection, understanding, long-term resilience, and well- being. When young people hear validating, empathetic language early in life, they are more likely to seek help as adolescents and adults. When communication with adolescents prioritizes these components, they are more likely to feel connected, continue conversations and accept help. To strengthen the youth’s support network, consider including other important people in their life such as family members, close friends, teachers, coaches, pediatricians, and
counselors or therapists.
If someone you love is experiencing emotional distress, mental health symptoms, or behavioral health concerns, you can help; please refer to the resources listed below. If you or someone else is in crisis or in need of immediate assistance, call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
References
Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. (2026). Parents: Tips for talking to your child about mental health.
Mental Health America (MHA). (2026). Time to talk: Talking to your parents.
Mental Health America (MHA). (2026). Validating young people’s feelings.
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). (2026). How to talk to your child about their mental health.
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). (2026). Mental health by the numbers: Infographics & fact sheets.
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). (2023). Mental health: Facts about mental health.
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). (2023). Mental health: For friends and family members.
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). (n.d.). Mental health: For parents and caregivers of children.
U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). (2025). Mental Health Stigma.
World Health Organization (WHO). (2026). Promoting well-being.
Laura E. Haas, M.S., L.P.C., is Director of Social Services at KidsPeace Children’s Hospital. She has more than 20 years of experience working across inpatient psychiatric, community behavioral health, and educational systems. Her master’s degree is from Wright State University in Marriage and Family Counseling, and she completed additional graduate coursework related to Mental Health Counseling and Education. Laura is currently enrolled in the University of Dayton’s doctoral studies (Ed.D.), Leadership for Organizations program and maintains her Professional Counseling License in Pennsylvania.
