Failing Forward: Teaching Kids That Mistakes Are Not The Enemy

Albert Einstein, despite being one of the greatest minds of the 20th century, was no stranger to failure, but he understood that taking risks raised the stakes considerably for experiencing it. He captured this sentiment in the following quote.¹

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.

One of the most powerful fears at any age is that of making a mistake. It can hold people back by preventing them from taking risks that might lead to positive results, unexpected outcomes, or even startling discoveries.

I recall being an athletically challenged child terrified of striking out or dropping the ball. The fear was so intense that I would lie to my gym teachers, telling them I’d left my gym uniform at home, taking a failing grade for that day. The fear of embarrassing myself was stronger than my desire to pass the class.

Apparently, I was not alone. Recent surveys indicate approximately 70 percent of students report anxiety about making mistakes in academic settings. Additionally, 60 percent of students believe fear affects their performance. Students with a high fear of making mistakes are 30 percent less likely to participate in class discussions, while 40 percent avoid challenging tasks altogether.²

Fear of making mistakes is evident even on a neuropsychological level. Scientists have found that mistakes trigger a chain of events in our brains. The medial frontal cortex is aware of our mistakes before we realize we have made them. When we err, these frontal neurons immediately activate our brain’s fear center, the amygdala, which is “the same fear center that lights up when people see snakes or spiders”³ and impede the brain’s ability to problem-solve.

For students with histories of trauma, emotional instability, or repeated academic struggles, mistakes can carry more weight than they should. A wrong answer activates old narratives: “I’m not smart. I always mess up.”

The Role of Educators

Fear of mistakes can disguise itself in a variety of behaviors:

Refusing to begin an assignment
Shutting down or putting their head down
Acting silly or disruptive when called on
Perfectionistic erasing until the paper tears
Meltdowns over minor corrections
Insisting “I don’t care”
Avoiding participation at all costs

These behaviors can be misinterpreted as laziness, oppositional behavior, or lack of motivation. It is also possible that they can be protective strategies, such as, “If you don’t try, you can’t fail” and “If you act like you don’t care, you don’t have to risk caring.”

In dealing with these self-defeating rationales that students repeat to themselves, the teacher should seek not simply to increase compliance but to reduce the perceived threat and build confidence the student can draw on when faced with subsequent challenges.

The classroom culture needs to convey that school is a place to learn how to solve problems, and experiencing both success and failure are key to that process. Students need to understand that mistakes are part of growth – not only in the classroom, but on the field, on the court, at the piano and in life – and can ultimately make them better students.

Conveying this idea can begin on Day One. Dr. Robert Brooks, a psychologist who has written extensively on resilience in children, suggests that on the first day of school, the teacher ask the class if anyone is afraid of making a mistake. The first hand up should be the teacher’s, who can then share an appropriate example of a mistake they have made in the past. This communicates that mistakes are everyday occurrences and can happen to anyone – even an adult and, yes, even the teacher. A class discussion can then open up by encouraging the students to share their own experiences in the safe atmosphere the teacher created by revealing their own mistakes. Finally, the class can discuss how they can support each other when someone makes a mistake – which is inevitable. This exercise can normalize the experience of making mistakes, address students’ fears and form a great foundation for the entire school year.

Classroom Strategies to Normalize Mistakes

When creating a classroom environment that views making mistakes as universal, teachers can consider other strategies.

Never use red ink to highlight an error. Use green ink to indicate a mistake. Tell your students that green is for go and growth, while red is for STOP and may seem angry.
Don’t mark errors on tests without explaining what was wrong with the answers. Provide an explanation or the correct answer when grading papers.
Give students the opportunity to correct mistakes and redo their work, to reaffirm that making mistakes is an opportunity to learn.
Have students post their biggest mistakes on a bulletin board to “brag” about them – after the teacher posts a mistake of theirs first. Ask students to post a “ridiculous” mistake they made to help them find the humor in it.
Cite examples of mistakes from history, entertainment, or pop culture that well-known people have made and how they worked out.
Model self-compassion. Students can learn not to hold themselves to unrealistic standards and to be a little easy on themselves. It also shows students how to deal with setbacks.
Search the incorrect answer for any semblance of the correct one and encourage the student to do the same. Wrong responses may be totally off base, but sometimes they can also be just slightly amiss or provide a novel approach to a problem. With a gentle nudge, a student can see this.
Tell your students that even brilliant people can be wrong, as scientists often go through trial and error. Additionally, scientists try to prove themselves wrong to ensure their results are as accurate as possible.
For young children, books such as, The Little Engine That Could,⁴ After The Fall (How Humpty Dumpty Got Back Up Again),^5, and Rosie Revere, Engineer⁶ teach that failure is merely a step that can facilitate growth, and that it does not define a person.

Move From Shame To Growth

Th teacher’s goal is not to eliminate mistakes from the classroom – that would be impossible. The goal should be to eliminate the shame attached to making them.

When mistakes become information rather than indictment, learning becomes possible. Students begin to see challenges as opportunities for growth rather than as exposure. Effort replaces avoidance. Curiosity replaces defensiveness.

As the inventor Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”⁷

In the classroom, the football field, the basketball court, trying out for the school play… anything in life, trying something new can create a feeling of vulnerability. However, in environments where mistakes are safe and anticipated, students are permitted and encouraged to try.

Mistakes are not evidence of deficiency. They are evidence of effort. And when effort is safe, growth follows.

References

(2019). BrainyQuote; BrainyQuote. https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/albert_einstein_109012
“Statistics on Students Who Are Afraid of Making Mistakes – Yahoo Search Results.” Yahoo.com, 2024, search.yahoo.com/search?fr=mcafee&type=E210US739G0&p=statistics+on+students+who+are+afraid+of+making+mistakes. Accessed 26 Feb. 2026.
Boaler, J. (2019). Limitless Mind: Learn, Lead, and Live Without Barriers. Harper One
Piper, W. (2020). The Little Engine That Could. Grosset & Dunlap
Santat, D. (2017). After The Fall (How Humpty Dumpty Got Back Up Again). Roaring Book Press
Beaty, B (2013). Rosie Revere, Engineer. Harry N. Abrams
Daum, K. (2016). 37 Quotes From Thomas Edison That Will Inspire Success. www.inc.com/kevin-daum/37-quotes-from-thomas-edison-that-will-bring-out-your-best.html

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Steven Baron, Psy.D., is a licensed psychologist in private practice and was a school psychologist for 30 years. He has written articles and book chapters on bullying and child psychotherapy, and provides workshops for parents, educators, and mental health professionals on positive psychology, parenting, and emotional well-being. He is the author of Teaching With A Strength-Based Approach: How To Motivate Students And Build Relationships, published by Routledge in 2023, and currently is preparing a follow-up book on ways parents can promote their children’s positive emotional development